2012 is NOT the end of the world

All this foofoorah over 2012 is pure crap. There's nothing special about the Mayan Great Cycle ending in 2012. It's already done so 12 times before.

The Mayan calendar has several cycles of varying lengths. So does ours. We call them "weeks", "months", and "years".

Theirs also had some very long ones, including the longest, the Great Cycle, a little over 4000 years long.

2012 will be the end of 13th Great Cycle since the creation of the universe (according to the Mayan mythology).

All it is is the calendar resetting to zero. Just like ours does every year.

Sherlock Holmes is Not an Action Hero

I'm one of those "fanbois" who've read all the Holmes stories. Multiple times. And I'm not going to be going to see this.

I have tried and tried and tried, and I just cannot wrap my mind around Holmes as an action hero. Sure, he knew "Baritsu" (actually Bartitsu), but he was NOT a physical hero.

Of course, no one but Holmes fans will care, but so be it.

Avatar -- Go see it

I saw it yesterday (Thanksgiving and Christmas Day are THE best movie days of the year). I enjoyed it thoroughly, except for one glaring technical error.

The Story is good, and given the indigenes abilities, is believable. The CGI is awesome, and bodes well for the future of Sci-Fi movies. The 3D worked VERY well, there was no 3D for the sake of 3D, and the only "Comin' at ya!" was appropriate for the scene. (I also came out with much less of a headache than I normally get from 3D movies.)

I think the ending was overly optimistic, though, and I expect the bad guys will be back, with more force.

Be warned, though, that if you're an archer, too, then the way the natives fire their bows is going to give you hives. Accept it, dismiss it, and enjoy the rest of the movie.

4 stars


Technical explanation for those who care:

When you use a finger draw, the bowstring rolls off your fingers as you release it. Because the fingers are normally on the opposite side from the arrow, this rolling pulls the arrow against the bow, and just keeps it in line.

If you were to draw the way the Na'Vi do, with your fingers on the same side of the bow as the arrow, that rolling will pull the tip of the arrow away from the bow, and screw up your shot every time.

Cameron showed the Na'Vi extending a finger along the arrow, probably to make up for that, but you wouldn't do that twice! you'd get friction burns from the shaft of the arrow and the fletchings, and quickly start moving your finger farther out, and there goes your aim.

It's another example of the "I don't care if it's realistic, it looks cool!" attitude towards the audience.

Wood splitting

All you folks who split your own wood every year should get a chuckle out of this:

It's been a few years since I used anything but a fakelog (Duraflame, etc.) in my fireplace. This year I decided to get one of those bundles of actual wood and have a real wood fire again.

I used to do this in the past, and I had a gas starter in the fireplace then, or I'd just use a bunch of newspaper to get the fire going.

But this fireplace doesn't have the gas connection, and I haven't subscribed to a newspaper in years. The first attempt was a total disaster. I [i]know[/i] you need kindling to get the large wood burning, and you need some kind of tinder to get the kindling going, but I tried it anyway.

Needless to say, that didn't work too well. But I did learn a few things about what [i]doesn't[/i] work.

"No problem," I said to myself, "I'll just split a couple of the pieces down into kindling, and split the large pieces into two or more to make it a more manageable fire."

Man, I forgot how much [i]work[/i] splitting wood is! Even just little quarter- and eighth-log pieces!

But I now have a stack of nice, wrist-thick pieces, another stack of finger- and thumb-thick pieces, and a whole bunch of chips and splits for kindling. Since my fires are more decorative than functional, that will do me just fine.

Disabling Child-resistant Caps

I hate child-resistant caps. I live alone, I have no kids, nor do I ever have other peoples' kids in my home. So I have no hesitation about disabling them, leaving the container easier to open.

The most common ones, the "Press Down While Turning" kind, are the easiest. They consist of two pieces, an inner and an outer. Cut off the outer cap by whatever means works for you, and voila!, you have a normal cap.

The second most common one I run into is the "Squeeze Here While Turning". This one has two "lugs" inside the cap that engage two "ears" on the neck of the bottle. Cut off the "ears" (I usually use a pair of toenail clippers) and you're done!

Now, don't be stupid with this. You are disabling a valid safety measure. If you have small children in your home, whether they're yours or someone else's, I wouldn't advise doing this unless you take the kind of precautions we did before "Child-Resistant" packaging: keep potentially dangerous products secured and/or out of the reach of small children. But if you don't, there's no good reason for you to put up with the hassle.

If you do this, YOU are responsible for any outcome from it. So don't be stupid, okay?

Polanski on bail

So Mr. Polanski is out on bail awaiting his extradition hearing. He's on house arrest, and wearing a monitoring bracelet.

Hopefully 4 million dollars bail is enough to keep him from fleeing, but I'll be VERY surprised if he doesn't.

And the way things are going, I'll be surprised if he ever even has to face his own charges.

The Prisoner, conclusion

Heh. I was right about it being a virtual reality, but wrong about what kind. It was BOTH a drug-induced hallucination AND a digital virtual reality.

And the holes in that explanation (so to speak) leave me feeling "meh". The Village is a drug-stabilized dream/fantasy in the mind of Curtis' wife, but the people are computer simulations somehow projected into that dream.

And if someone ELSE in the fantasy takes the magic pills, THEY become the one dreaming the Village in the real world? What happens to their meat body? Who's taking care of it?

And Six abandons all his moral outrage if HE can be "the boss"? Gee, nice to see that the hero of the story has such strong, enduring standards.

Overall, I call it a waste of time. Six hours that I could have been doing any number of other things.

The Prisoner, 3 & 4

Now I predict it's going to be like Twin Peaks: "Just throw in a bunch of weird stuff that we're never going to explain, because the viewers will accept anything."

The Prisoner

Okay, after two episodes, it's . . . interesting.

But I want to get my prediction in right now: it's all some kind of virtual reality. I don't know if it's a chemically/psychologically induced hallucination, or an actual computer simulation, but it's all going to turn out not to be real.

I know, there are flaws with that explanation, like "well, why did they have to chase the old man down with guns, then?? And, "What's the point of Rover, then?"

***Spoiler Alert***

But how else do you explain the disappearance of the ocean? It has to be some kind of "not really real" reality that the people in charge can manipulate.

And where do the food and supplies come from? If they're brought in from "outside", then there obviously IS an "outside". If it's not real, they can just "appear" in place, and no one questions it.

I also predict:

The towers are a red herring.

#2 is as much a "victim" as anyone else there.

What am I not understanding?!?!

Okay, the health care bill passed.

Medium and Large companies will be required to provide health care to their employees. I forsee a lot of companies going more to the "contractor" rather than "employee" mindset.

EVERYONE will be required to have some kind of health care. If they don't get it from their employer, they will HAVE TO BUY IT THEMSELVES. If you're working for a small company that doesn't have to provide it, and doesn't, you MUST buy some out of your own pocket.

Anyone who doesn't have qualifying health insurance will pay an additional 2.5% income tax. If you can't afford it, they're going to take even more money out of your pocket.

Insurers will NOT be allowed to disqualify pre-existing conditions. Rates will go up to compensate for the increased costs.

Small and Medium income families will have subsidies to help them purchase health insurance. Great. Bet it doesn't cover the whole, increased cost.

I foresee:

• Additional financial burden on companies that are currently struggling due to the economy. Especially on small, privately owned companies.

• Increased insurance costs to cover increased expenses. And increases to take advantage of the forced purchases.

• Reductions in benefits to compensate. And more workers being hired as "contractors" (with no benefits at all).

• People who can't afford insurance now either buy it anyway, or lose MORE of their income.

This is "reform"?

The Berlin Wall came down 20 years ago

Wow. I grew up with it in place, knew it was there, figured it would ALWAYS be there.

I was thirty-mumble when it came down. A full adult, and never even considered the possibility that it would ever come down. Yet it did.

And that was TWENTY years ago.

Sheesh.

Trick 'R Treat

If you like horror movies, real ones with actual stories and not just a flood of fake blood, go read this write-up of "Trick 'R Treat", and then rent it and enjoy.

Space hotel

When I was young, I expected to see hotels in space and ordinary people able to buy tickets to orbit by the time I grew up.

For a number of years now, I'd given up that dream, and no longer thought I'd see the day.

But I may be wrong:

Space Hotel

G.I. Joe

Yeah, yeah, I only just saw it.

And I didn't expect much, since it's a "kid's movie". The story was about what I expected for quality. And they did a pretty decent job on the tech, actually, especially for a "kid's movie".

But that makes it even more inexcusable when they ignored simple, basic, real-world physics.

ICE FLOATS, you morons!!! You can blow the crap out of the ice cap over your underwater base, BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE CHUNKS OF ICE FALLING DOWN THROUGH THE WATER ONTO YOUR BASE.

"Oh, it's a kid's movie, it doesn't really matter, they'll never know the difference." No, that doesn't cut it. If it's a kid's movie, it's even MORE important that you have your basics correct. Otherwise, it's just an insult to your audience.

You couldn't show a car driving up the side of a building without a good reason. You couldn't show a glass of water floating in mid-air without a good reason. You can't have ice sinking through water without a good reason.

Ice floats. Look at icebergs.

Idiots.

Time change

I like when Daylight Saving Time ends, at first. I got up when I woke up, about 7am, but it was actually 6am. Cool!

But then I have to manually reset half a dozen clocks/watches, including my so-called "atomic" clock. It checks the time at midnight, so it doesn't catch the time change until Monday morning if I don't fix it myself. And because I thought I wouldn't have to reset it when I bought it, I hung it waaaaaaay up out of normal reach. Grrr!

On the other hand, my computer, TV, DVR, DVD-R and Palm all reset themselves, so that's a few items I don't have to fuss with.

On the third hand, I bought one of those nice "combo" watches a few months ago. It has both analog hands and a digital display. Which means I have to set my watch TWICE when the time changes.

And then, when alarm went off this morning, it was so much lighter than "normal" that I was sure I had overslept. It took a several seconds to figure out that I was okay. "We set the clocks back one hour. So it's one hour later. And the sun is one hour higher. Okay, I'm not late." And "morning brain" didn't make it any easier.

I wish we'd abandon this crap. I understand the reasoning behind it, and a century ago it made sense. But in our modern industrialized world, any energy savings from more light in the evening is surely all but canceled out by the later darkness in the mornings.

Un-anchored

I find myself in the situation of having quite literally no ties to the area I'm living in (San Diego). And the Preparedness Bug tells me that Southern California would be a crappy place to try to survive after an Apocalyptic Event (anything that knocks out all government services for the foreseeable future).

I've lived here since I was 7 years old. But right now I have, quite literally, NO friends/acquaintances. The people I work with are the only real world people I have any contact with, so there's absolutely NOTHING tying me to this area right now.

If I chose to, I could move somewhere else with no more effort than packing the minimum into a rented trailer.

And I need to start preparing to move any way. Rent's going up almost a hundred Jan 1, and the Landlady's making noises about selling the place, despite the depressed market. I need to reduce my outgo significantly any way, so this is a good time to think about it.

Do I even want to stay in San Diego?

I've never lived anywhere else that I can remember, but for a single year I spent in Salt Lake City, so I'm really used to the Big City. I probably wouldn't move to a small town, but almost any other city in the country is going to be significantly smaller.

[Most likely this is just idle speculation. Getting myself stirred up just to move is going to be hard enough. Moving to another city? Not bloody likely.]

Important safety tip

While a fully armed cat is sleeping on your lap, it is a Very Bad Idea to use compressed air on your keyboard.

The ensuing Four-Pawed, Full-Clawed Panic Leap is Double-Plus Not Good.

Being Prepared, Some Observations

Some of the things I've learned/noticed/realized since I got the Preparedness Bug a couple of months ago:

Ordinary chlorine bleach is very useful stuff.

72 hours' food and water for a single person (and a cat) is actually quite easy to do.

72 hours is a bare minimum.

Large trash bags are also very useful.

It's amazingly easy to roll duct tape around a business card to make a flat pack.

Commercial First Aid Kits all seem to lack critical basic components.

I believe I could walk home from work with the bag and water that's in my car. I could even spend a night outdoors on the way home. But what if I can't go home? What's in the car is all I'm going to have.

And what about when I go farther from home than that?

Preparedness is indeed a Journey. Every stage I achieve seems to open up another one.

Some people think even a small, 1-1/4" Swiss Army Knife is a deadly weapon, and carrying one makes you a potential mass murderer.

Double Standard

Driving to work this morning, I watched a Highway Patrol vehicle change lanes twice, then take an exit, without a single signal.

Yet if I did that in front of him, I bet I'd have a citation now.

Edit 10/27/09:

Don't get me wrong. I respect and admire the people who choose to become Law Enforcement personnel. The vast majority of them are honest, honorable persons, doing a job I'd never choose to do.

But they are also very visible, and when they don't follow even basic traffic laws, it sets a poor example for us all.

Monsters vs. Aliens

Yeah, yeah, whatever. I don't go to the theater any more unless I am certain I will enjoy the movie. Or it's Star Trek. (Unfortunately, those didn't overlap for a while. Fortunately, they do again with the reboot. But that's another post.)

Anyway, I don't go to the theater very often. I also don't do 3-D movies. The constant changes in parallax without a corresponding change in focal distance give me headaches. Bad ones.

So I only just saw Monsters vs. Aliens. And if G-rated movies don't give you hives, if you like any kind of monster movie at all, and especially if you're a fan of old, b-grade monster movies, you need to see this.

It's fun, and entertaining, and nicely sprinkled with old-school monster movie references and in-jokes.

Rent it, pop some corn, and have fun. Kids optional.

Gettin' cold at night

Here in San Diego, it's starting to get a bit nippy at night. And I'll tell you, every time I see people outside in heavy jackets, walking their dogs, the more I appreciate my indoor-only cat.

I said to her this morning, "I'm so glad I don't have to take you outside for walks."

She looked up at me and went "Mrow!", as if to say "Damn straight!"

Why?

I swear, I'll never understand people.

Why go to the trouble of taking the empty toilet paper core off the spindle, and then put the spindle back without putting a new roll on?

If you don't have time to finish the job, why even start it?

New rolls are right there. Literally 6 inches away from the holder. On an open rack, in plain sight. They had time to take the spindle out with the old core on it, and put the spindle back empty.

Why not take another few seconds to remove the paper wrapper from another roll and put it on the spindle? They aren't even in more difficult to remove plastic wrapping. They're in standard commercial paper wrap. Comes off in two seconds, tops.

I don't get it.

I probably never I ever will.

Unplug your shredder

Browsing through the archives on another blog, I came across the story of a home fire started by a paper shredder.

While sitting idle, the motor shorted out, throwing sparks into the nice pile of tinder shredded paper below it. The fire grew quickly, but the owner was able to contain it, fortunately. The smoke and debris damage to his home is a story in itself.

Me, I've moved my shredder so I can reach the plug easily, and I'm only plugging it in when I'm actually using it. The rest of the time I'm draping the cord across the feed slot so I know it's unplugged.

The odds of an electric motor spontaneously shorting out and throwing sparks is minuscule, and it's not something I normally worry about. But a shredder motor is pretty hefty, and has all that nice tinder right underneath it. So this one, I'm going to be a little more cautious with.

Nobel for Obama

Okay, I waited, hoping it was a joke, or a delusion, or that they'd recognize their folly.

Looks like it's not going to happen, so I'm throwing my on log on the bonfire:

The Nobel Prizes are awarded for outstanding efforts or performance in the preceding year!

So Mr. Obama has been given the Nobel Peace Prize in recognition of his outstanding efforts to promote world peace in 2008?

I'm not very politically observant. In fact, I try to ignore it as much as I can. So what did he do in 2008 that I missed? What countries did he go to? What cease-fires or even truces did he negotiate? What did he do in 2008 that makes him more deserving than anyone else in the entire world?

That's all I want to know.

Playing with the cat

The two best cat toys you can have:

A laser pointer.

A 3' flexible stick with 3' of string fastened to the end.


The secret:

Let her catch the toy frequently. Have you ever played a game and figured out that you could not ever, EVER win? Either because you just weren't good enough, or because it simply wasn't possible to succeed? How long did you continue to play the game after that?

Same thing for your cat. She's not going to stay interested in a prey she can't catch. So let her catch it frequently, and she'll stay interested.

Letting her catch the string is easy, but how do you let her catch a dot of light?

Simple. As she's pouncing on it, turn it off. Point it somewhere behind her, turn it on, and bring the dot up onto her back and hold it there. She should be looking at her paws, thinking she's got it pinned. Watch for her to let up a little bit, then bring the dot forward, across her paws.

She'll think it just got out from under her paw and is getting away, and will chase it that much more intently.

This technique may not work as well with more then one cat. Putting the dot on one cat may just produce a pile o' cats. In that case, just keep it pointed near her paws. When she starts "checking", turn it on and run it away from her paws, same as above. And just let whoever caught it last be the one that "triggers" the escape.

Note: NEVER let the laser hit her eyes. Cats' eyes are much more sensitive than ours. An irritating flash to us is a blinding explosion to them.

Movie: Behind the Mask

I am NOT into slasher films, but I am into good, suspenseful horror films, and films in either genre with originality and creativity.

"Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" is one of those. Google it, read about it at IMDB, and then watch it.

Friday the 13th on Tuesday . . .

No big deal. Carry on.

Dreams come true

When I was a kid, one of my dreams was of having my own theater setup where I could watch any movie I wanted to whenever I wanted.

I gotta say that, between a nice-sized LCD TV, Netflix and local rental stores, and living alone meaning I can sit close enough to that TV to make it Movie-screen sized if I want to, that dream is fulfilled.

Still waiting, though, for the day an ordinary person can buy a ticket to orbit . . . .

Lost

Even if I don't know how to get where I'm going from where I'm at, even if I'm not exactly sure just WHERE I'm at, as long as I know how to get back to where I started, I'm not lost.

Just "misplaced".

Climbing on the bandwagon

C'mon, c'mon, there's still room. Scoot over, you can fit another one!

So: Polanski: Pardon or Punish?

Well, let's see. Person pleaded guilty in a plea bargain to reduce his sentence. Person then fled the country before actual sentencing. Person then evaded extradition for thirty-something years, maintaining a not-exactly-low profile while continuing his chosen profession, and collecting full benefits of said profession. Finally, in a fit of stupidity, he allows it to be known that he will be in a country with an extradition treaty far enough in advance that they can actually get the paperwork done in time.

Bring him back, hold to the original plea bargain, and then slap on additional time appropriate to fleeing the country.

He hasn't "suffered enough" because he hasn't freakin' suffered! Oh, gosh, he couldn't go back to the US, or to any country with an extradition treaty. Yeah, like that's a hardship.

"She's forgiven him." Good for her, but so what? He plead GUILTY! He agreed to take the punishment for it! It's not a question of "is he guilty?", it's a matter of taking the lumps he said he would. AND the ones he incurred by skipping town.

Stardust

Yeah, yeah, I know it came out 2 years ago. For some reason, it struck me at the time as another crappy "alien falls to earth" movie.

Then I saw a description of it that made it clear that wasn't what it was. So I netflixed it.

And I really enjoyed it. Original fantasy with entertaining characters. VERY good, well worth seeing. If you like Princess Bride and Lord of the Rings, see it.

Silly Cat

I have a silly cat:

Got a bit warm even in the house last weekend, and she flopped in front of the fan for over an hour:

She likes to do yoga on the back of the couch:

And, like most cats, she can be comfortable despite obstacles:

"What lamp?"

Saw a donorcycle on the way to work this morning

Guy on a motorcycle; 55mph in a 65 zone (and most people doing 70+); 3rd lane instead of the outside lane, he's pissing people off; one of those barely legal minimalist helmets that don't do any good at all, and he's riding down the center of the lane, right on the oil stripe.

Sure hope his donor card is up to date, 'cause he's going to need it driving like that.

I've only been on a motorcycle once, as a passenger, but even I know better than to drive on the oil strip in the middle of the lane.

Cat Toys

I've spent a modest amount of a lot of money on cat toys over the years. One of my favorites was the plastic rod with a nylon cord on the end, and a little connector at the end that allowed you to put various lures on the end. When I first saw that one, I knew it was The Toy to End All Toys. I bought it and a couple of different lures, knowing that when she got tired of one, I'd just change them out and have a fresh toy!

I've had that toy for three cats now. And every single one of them liked/likes it best when I take the lure off and slide the connector up out of the way, so they could play with the plain string.

I finally gave up and removed the connector. Just like the kid ignoring the expensive toy and playing with the box, they want "Da String!"

So just get yourself some kind of flexible rod about three feet long, and attach a similar length of cord to it. That's all you need to drive your cat crazy keep your cat exercised.

Meatloaf Cat

I've had several pets in my years. One of the most -- memorable -- was Morticia. Pure black semi-longhair. Just a couple of white hairs on her chest, all the rest dead black. Named for Morticia Addams. Indoor cat, all my cats are always indoor cats.

I call her the meatloaf cat because she was a meatloaf. If there was a lap, she'd be in it. Provided the person met her standards. (I should have listened when I brought home a lady Tish wouldn't put up with. Tish was right.) She was also the silly putty cat. You could try to put her out of your lap, but she'd be back in it in the time it took you to put your hands down and start to get up. As if your hands had passed right through her.

I had a nice little yard, with a secure fence, and on really nice days I liked to sit on the porch reading. I'd leave the front door open so Tish could come outside and explore if she wanted to. I watched her very closely until I was sure she had no interest in leaving the yard.

But I didn't realize just how much of an indoor cat she was until the day I saw her get up from where she'd been laying in the grass, trot into the house, use her litter box, then trot back outside!


I guess she didn't realize she could do that outside.

eBooks

I'm an avid reader. I can't even remember learning to read. The first book I remember reading is "The Skylark of Space" by E. E. "Doc" Smith. My parents always had a large library, and the ONLY books I was prohibited from reading were "the ones on this shelf. When you are tall enough to reach them standing FLAT-FOOTED on the floor, then you may read them." (Turned out they were the "How to raise kids" type books. Very disappointing.)

So I have ALWAYS been an avid reader. I always had at least one recreational book with me all the way through school, and throughout my adult life.

In 1982 I purchased my first PDA (a Palm 105) and discovered eBooks.

The joy of being able to carry several books, to read anywhere and anywhen i want, and the ease of holding it in one hand made me an instant fan.

I still read paperbacks, too, but only if I can't get it in an electronic version, cheaper than the hardcopy.

Which brings me to my question for eBook publishers: Why are you charging me just as much for the eBook as you do for a hardcopy?!?!

You have NO print costs, minimal publishing and distribution costs, and you NEVER get stuck with an overrun of a book that wasn't as popular as you thought it would be.

But do you pass some of that savings on to your readers?

NoooOOOOOooooo.

Greedy bastards.

Psycho . . . Kitty version

I live alone. Just me and Miss Kitty.

A couple of days ago, I was in the shower, shampooing my hair. I've got both hands on top of my head, working up a good lather when Something. Touched. My Hand.

After the mandatory couple of seconds of complete and total panic, I look up and Miss Kitty is on the top of the shower door rail. She had batted at my hand, same as we often do at the top of her cat perch.

And as soon I looked up, she said "MEOW?!" ("Breakfast?")

"You know," I said, "I had other plans for that dozen or so heartbeats, like using them slowly, one at a time, not all at once!!!"

"(Breakfast?)"

She's a brat.

Note to self . . .

When the cat's claws need trimming, do NOT drag her string toy directly over my own bare foot.

Pardon me while I go get a band-aid . . . .

The word is "DEVASTATED"!

NOT "decimated". "Decimate" means "to kill 1 in 10". It does NOT mean "destroyed".

When you mean "large amounts of ruin or destruction", the word is devastated.

"Nawlins" was devastated, not decimated. Get it right.


Yeah, that's one of my triggers . . . .

Quit trying to help me with my tax burden!

You won't see much political stuff here, because for the most part I ignore it as much as I can. This does, once in while, cause me harm. Case in point:

I don't worry a whole lot about the details on my weekly paycheck. I know how much I need out of each one to pay the bills, and the rest is "fun money". My hours also vary from week to week, and consequently, so does the specific amount of the check.

So, although I noticed that my check seemed to be a it larger since about April, I didn't think about it too much.

My bad.

I just found out a couple weeks ago that that was the "tax relief" plan of reducing Federal Withholding across the board. Not the tax rate, just the withholding. So they're taking out less for taxes, thus putting more money in my pocket. But I'm going to owe just as much as normal come tax time. I just won't have as much already withheld to pay it with.

On top of that, my wife passed last year, so next year I'll be filing Single, not Married. Meaning my taxes will be even higher.


This is NOT the kind of "Tax Relief" I need!!!

Two can live as cheap as one . . .

Yeah, right.

Nowadays, even ONE can't live as cheap as one.

Being Prepared

I picked up the Preparedness Bug about a month ago.

I now have:

72 hours plus of food and water for me and my cat.

A Get Home Bag in my trunk.

A telescoping ladder so I can get out of my second-story apartment from the balcony.

The beginnings of a Get Out Bag if I should have to leave my apartment with little or no warning.

72 hours was EASY for a single person. (But now it's 96 hours, and even that's only a minimum.)

You're NOT a good driver if . . . .

Something like 75% of men claim to be above-average drivers. (If you can't see the problem with that, go back to school!)

Trust me, you are not even a "good" driver, much less "above average", if . . .

You can't see my back tires. I don't care if we're stopped or rolling, if you can't see where my back tires touch the road, YOU'RE TOO FRICKIN' CLOSE!

You have to use your brakes to avoid bumping into the car in front of you that you were catching up to. Did it occur to you to maybe TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE FRICKIN' GAS PEDAL?!

You have to use your brakes in ordinary, non-rush hour freeway traffic. Period. If you had to use your brakes and it ain't rush hour, and nobody else just did something stupid, you were NOT paying enough attention to traffic.

You aren't looking ahead of the car in front of you, or the patch of road in front of you, or you haven't looked in your rear-view mirror since you hit the freeway. If you don't have any idea what's going on ahead of and behind you, you're just a collision looking for a location.

You didn't turn your head and check your corner for other vehicles before moving over. I don't care HOW certain you are that it's clear, if you didn't actually look and confirm it, you are a CRAP driver.

You're on the phone with ANYONE other than 911. Hands-free or not, the conversation itself makes you a worse driver than drinking.

You're riding your motorcycle down that nice dark stripe down the middle of the lane. You know what that stripe is? It's OIL, you moron, that dripped off all the cars that drive that lane. Get off of it!!!

You had even ONE drink before you got behind the wheel. Okay, you may well be an above-average driver when you're sober, and one drink may not make you an unsafe driver, but it DID reduce your ability. You are no longer as good a driver as you were.

You aren't wearing your seatbelt. Or anyone in your vehicle is not properly restrained. You are responsible for the safety of everyone in your vehicle. I don't care how many "would have died if they'd been wearing their belt" stories you can dig up, seatbelts save thousands more lives than they take. Play the odds, or you're stupid.

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My own little corner, for venting frustration, relieving stress, and maybe even being funny occasionally.